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At the end of July I asked you in a poll what author you'd like to see next in my "Famous Authors Write Help" series. Jane Austen was the winner with 50% of the vote.
So, here's my take on Jane Austen explaining the difference between printing multiple copies and printing multiple pages.
Page and Paper
Jane eyed the printer, what had she done to cause the infernal device to so vex her? She scoured the chiffonier for the manual before recalling she'd used it in haste last Monday night to light her fire. She had wanted the tea, but now she felt foolish for her lack of devoirs which sought to deprive her of the document when she was so in need of it. Why the personal invitations she wanted for Margery's engagement party, each with the name of the invitee, an indispensable tool of etiquette, were printing alike on each sheet of paper she could not divine and felt much a vulgar drudge for not understanding. "Why am I so useless with these machines?"
She sensed a presence and turned to face the library door in which stood Lord Darlington. Her lips quivered in the faintest of sneers at his bespoke morning coat and silk stockings. Always the spark, he really was the most infuriating snob. Even now, he took in Jane, the printer, and the discarded sheets of printed card stock while his face assumed a visage of detached superiority. She curtseyed curtly. He nodded negligently.
"You seem in some distress, Miss Pemberley."
"No need to trouble yourself, your Lordship —."
"No trouble at all, you clearly are at want, —What seems the matter?"
She felt an odd tremor as he stepped toward her. How childish to be so easily entranced by his attention. "There is nothing the matter, —Why do you press the issue?" Her eyes locked with his and then she turned her back to stare at the screen.
"It seems that you do not wish to be printing a sheet of the same invitation, but, and I do not mean to impose upon you Miss, you wish to print a sheet containing each of different invitations for each guest. Do I have that right?"
"Yes —You shall hear then —I am most wretchedly trying to print invitations for Margery's engagement party, and can get the machine to produce only these four identical cards for Mr. Wendell—."Her troubles poured out.
Darlington smiled and said, "My dear, you must select correctly from the eligible choices, —Amongst the printer settings, —For you need to print Multiple pages per sheet and not Multiple copies."
He really was the most high-handed and trying man, and the simplicity of his answer made Jane's cheeks overspread with the deepest blush. Now, if he would only withdraw so she could resume her printing and her revelry of Margery's engagement, the day could be salvaged and her pride saved.
Be sure to check out the other famous author parodies:
And please do leave me comments on who you'd like to see write Help next month!
-- Bob deLaubenfels
I love it, well done. I think perhaps if you had used the characters of Anne Elliott and Frederick Wentworth from Jame Austen's, Persuasion, it would have had a little more oomph! Even, so I think it's great!
What about Herman Melville for the next one, using Billy Budd as a backdrop?
Thanks a lot Anita. Melville's a great suggestion!
Excuse the typo! I was referring to Jane not Jame. I should wear my specs more often!!