I can promise you that the terms below are all valid, and don't forget, "Language is a virus from outer space." (William Borroughs)

  • Sheepdip   In the world of ranching and farming (not pharming), sheep dip is a nice stroll through insecticide used to protect sheep from all sorts of nasty creepy crawly parasites such as lice, ticks, blow-flies, and their ilk.  In the Information Age, a sheepdip (one word) is where media such as floppy disks (remember those?) or CD-ROMs are checked for viruses before popping them into a computer. It's usually one computer that sheepdips, so it's this one machine's responsibility to suffer before any others do. (Therefore it's not connected to a network). The sheepdip is the king's food tester, as it were.

 

  • Pierre Salinger Syndrome   In 1996, the average person — office worker, teacher, student, even journalist — had little idea how great an impact the Internet would soon have on all our lives. And this has what to do with Pierre Salinger, the former White House press secretary and journalist? In 1996, TWA flight 800 crashed into the Atlantic Ocean near Long island, New York. Pierre (who probably cringed at this memory to his dying day), gave publicity to a story that an errant US Navy missile caused the crash. We all found out later that his "source" was a widespread Internet hoax, but his impassioned conviction gave his name to the affliction suffered by folks who believe that what the Internet says is absolutely true. (Crabby's relatives? Are you listening???)

 

  • e-nag   You know when you have something on your mind, something that is really needling you? Of course it's always better to get it off your chest and tell the one who caused all this heartache about what's really going on. That being said, if I've told you once, I've told you in many columns and in many different ways that e-mail is not the best place to have a heart-to-heart with someone. Now, the only thing worse than laying your burden down in e-mail is to do it again ... and again ...without giving the recipient time to respond. Maybe you're sorry you sent that first message and so you send a second one explaining yourself. And then maybe you need to backtrack one more time and tell your recipient that while you recognize that the first message was rather harsh, there were some valid points in there and didn't she think so too?

    (Now you're just being an e-nag.)

 

  • e-gret   Love is never having to say you're sorry. Except when you mustsay you're sorry to salvage your relationship and make sure you don't end up eating ramen noodles from a cardboard cup seven days a week. If you are too afraid to admit that you're wrong in person, and if you're not the kind who can come up with a heartfelt, hand-written note, perhaps an e-gret —- an apology made by email — is right for you. But remember, don't be an e-nag about your e-gret; say it and let it be and see what happens. And if that doesn't work out, remember: Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

 

  • Splog  This is short for "spam blog" and it's a term used for fake blogs, whose only purpose is to promote Web sites in order to help those sites get better search engine page rankings (which in turn means more money, what else?). Splogs skew your search results and often take you on long and torturous journeys through the Internet. They are deceptive cabbies who've taken you hostage through the canyons of Manhattan.

In the interest of time and space, I've left out a few terms (such as smurf and walled garden, and a few others) that I know. If you're interested in knowing what these things are, you can read my demystifying Internet terms columns (Part I and Part II).

— Crabby